I'm the kind of gal that really likes maps. I like knowing the lay of the land--what's North or South and how places are connected together by a spiderweb of roads and highways. I absolutely love to travel but rarely go anywhere without studying a map first to get my bearings and understand the relationship of the location to its surroundings. It helps me to appreciate and more fully experience the destination.
Or maybe I just like control.
The thing about studying a map and "understanding" where I'm at, if I'm really honest, has a lot to do with feeling like I'm in control of where I'm at. That I have knowledge (hello, power!) and that I'm not purely at the mercy of my concierge or cabbie.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I alluded a few times in previous posts (yes, like a million years ago) that there was big news in the works. The truth is that I thought I was bound for Southern California. I've been working towards a really cool promotion for the past year and it looked like it was all going to come together and I was going to pack it all up and head West. I fully imagined life by the beach--surfing, running along the sand, and lots of time to soak up the sun, sights and sounds of ocean living. Truth be told, my heart was pretty much set on it. Oh...and the job would have been a killer career opportunity.
At the eleventh hour it all fell apart. I got the offer, but yada yada ya, we couldn't make the details work out when it all came down to it. I would be lying if I said that I was anything other than incredibly disappointed.
So the past few weeks have been weighty ones. I've had to reconcile that something I really wanted and looked forward to wasn't going to pan out. I was so sure that I had read the map correctly and was navigating to not only where I wanted to go, but also to the place I thought I was supposed to go next.
Yeah. Not so much. Feels a little bit like deja vu.
(And for the record, if you ever have such issues to wade through, I highly recommend retreating to Napa. Definitely worked for me.)
So here I am at the proverbial crossroads. And honestly? I have NO idea what's next. Those of you who know me well can imagine that this is, an, uh, less than comfortable place for me to be. But it's that good kind of uncomfortable. My house is still on the market and I still plan to sell it, but have no idea what I'm going to do if/when it actually sells. I still have a job (for which I am definitely grateful), but I know it's not one that really challenges or excites me. I think it's time for something new, but what that looks like I really don't know.
I think my heart is still in California and there are lots of reasons that I'd like to head West and explore the possibilities. And oh, yeah...we're still in a recession so it's not like there a jobs a plenty just waiting for me to come along.
There have been moments when all of the above have filled me with pause--not to mention some angst. But there have also been lots of moments that have filled me with pure excitement and anticipation of what the next adventure might be.
So here we go...there's a journey ahead. And there's no map for this one. I suspect that all of my control-loving-sensibilities are going to be challenged along the way. But I'm also pretty sure that it's going to be wild and wonderful ride.
Buckle up!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
This is Where the Cowboy Rides Away
You know those people in your life who can only be described as enigmatic? They have an uncommon level of spunk and charisma and, just, PRESENCE. Last week I said good-bye to a treasure of man who fits this description. He was family. And he was my grandfather's best friend for decades.
I'm pretty certain that heaven is a much livelier place today now that those two are back together. I like to think that my PaPa had worked out a gag with St. Peter and Sonny was met with a heaven-sized practical joke. And I'm certain that Sonny will return in kind.
These two old cowboys were from my favorite place in the middle of nowhere--Roby, Texas. This is literally a hole in the wall square of red dirt, but it is my absolute favorite place in then entire world because it is DRIPPING with so many of my favorite childhood memories. Robytown will have to be it's own entry at some point, but while I was sitting in this little country Baptist church at the funeral, I had a few observations:
1. REAL hat head comes from a cowboy hat. That hat, by the way, is waiting for you along with a dozen others in the foyer. You certainly wouldn't think about wearing it into the service.
2. Chewing gum in church is just TACKY. Chewing gum at a funeral is unconscionable.
3. The way that people in small towns not only pull over, but actually get out of their cars and stand attentively when a funeral procession passes by is simply priceless. That's the purest kind of class.
4. Living your life in such a way that you pack the church and leave the preacher struggling to sum up the kind of person you were and the positive mark you made is the way I want to live. The preacher quoted an old bumper sticker: Live your life in such a way that the preacher doesn't have to lie at your funeral. Yep. That's the way to do it.
These days I'm reminded more and more of how unpredictable life can be. One moment you may have everything planned out, but the next moment you may feel like the rug was pulled out from underneath you.
(Not that I would know anything about that personally. Ahem.)
Life is fragile. And fabulous. And sometimes frustrating. And either way it goes by really fast.
When my sweet PaPa died a year ago I had the opportunity to say a few words at his funeral. I talked about how this amazing man was a light in a world full of darkness. How he loved God and loved others and his life showcased both. Sonny did the same.
The legacy that men like Sonny Turnbow and Garland Moore leave for the rest of us is the opportunity to carry that flame and continue to shine light in a very dark and dirty and desperate world.
My own light might flicker from time to time. Or a lot. (There are certainly plenty of times that I feel dark and dirty and desperate). But I'm going to do my best. There are too many people who need the light. And too many who made a point of passing it on to me.
And I take a lof of comfort in know that the darkness? It will never overcome the light.
I'm pretty certain that heaven is a much livelier place today now that those two are back together. I like to think that my PaPa had worked out a gag with St. Peter and Sonny was met with a heaven-sized practical joke. And I'm certain that Sonny will return in kind.
These two old cowboys were from my favorite place in the middle of nowhere--Roby, Texas. This is literally a hole in the wall square of red dirt, but it is my absolute favorite place in then entire world because it is DRIPPING with so many of my favorite childhood memories. Robytown will have to be it's own entry at some point, but while I was sitting in this little country Baptist church at the funeral, I had a few observations:
1. REAL hat head comes from a cowboy hat. That hat, by the way, is waiting for you along with a dozen others in the foyer. You certainly wouldn't think about wearing it into the service.
2. Chewing gum in church is just TACKY. Chewing gum at a funeral is unconscionable.
3. The way that people in small towns not only pull over, but actually get out of their cars and stand attentively when a funeral procession passes by is simply priceless. That's the purest kind of class.
4. Living your life in such a way that you pack the church and leave the preacher struggling to sum up the kind of person you were and the positive mark you made is the way I want to live. The preacher quoted an old bumper sticker: Live your life in such a way that the preacher doesn't have to lie at your funeral. Yep. That's the way to do it.
These days I'm reminded more and more of how unpredictable life can be. One moment you may have everything planned out, but the next moment you may feel like the rug was pulled out from underneath you.
(Not that I would know anything about that personally. Ahem.)
Life is fragile. And fabulous. And sometimes frustrating. And either way it goes by really fast.
When my sweet PaPa died a year ago I had the opportunity to say a few words at his funeral. I talked about how this amazing man was a light in a world full of darkness. How he loved God and loved others and his life showcased both. Sonny did the same.
The legacy that men like Sonny Turnbow and Garland Moore leave for the rest of us is the opportunity to carry that flame and continue to shine light in a very dark and dirty and desperate world.
My own light might flicker from time to time. Or a lot. (There are certainly plenty of times that I feel dark and dirty and desperate). But I'm going to do my best. There are too many people who need the light. And too many who made a point of passing it on to me.
And I take a lof of comfort in know that the darkness? It will never overcome the light.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
More Than and Thousand Monkeys
I’m just going to say it: my niece and nephew are the two coolest kids on the planet. OK…yes. Perhaps I’m biased. And perhaps those are close to fighting words because you believe that YOU have the coolest kid(s) on the planet. Perhaps we’re both right.
I spent the weekend with Mr. T (4 ½) and Baby K (18mo). In general, Mr. T is all sugar and Baby K is all spice. I love getting in some good Aunt Moose time and just playing with these kiddos. We got down and dirty and managed to squeeze in a weekend jam packed with fun. These kids are sweet, smart, funny and crazy cute.
(Really—Jason, how did you manage to have such beautiful and amazing children??)
On Saturday we were outside playing and we had the sidewalk chalk out. I drew a picture and asked Mr. T if he knew what it was. He said, “Yes! It’s a MOOSE!” I said, ‘You’re right buddy! But do I REALLY look like that??” He looked at me with the most incredulous little face and said, “Uh, NO…You’re an AUNT Moose!”
Duh. Apparently that’s a whole other species. (And I’m not complaining).
At another time I was sitting with him and I asked him if he knows how much I love him. He stretched out his arms as wide as he could and said, “This much?” I stretched out my own arms, which of course were much wider, and said, “Even MORE than THIS much! 5 times more. 500 times more. 5 MILLION times more!” He looked at me with wide-eyed wonder and said, “I know—a THOUSAND times more!”
He jumped up and ran off to his room and came right back with a book. I should have noted the title, but it’s something that starts with a couple of monkeys and eventually builds to the crescendo—a thousand monkeys. He anxiously turned the last page, animated with monkeys everywhere, and proclaimed that he loves me “more than a thousand monkeys!”
Yep. That’s my kind of kid!
I spent the weekend with Mr. T (4 ½) and Baby K (18mo). In general, Mr. T is all sugar and Baby K is all spice. I love getting in some good Aunt Moose time and just playing with these kiddos. We got down and dirty and managed to squeeze in a weekend jam packed with fun. These kids are sweet, smart, funny and crazy cute.
(Really—Jason, how did you manage to have such beautiful and amazing children??)
On Saturday we were outside playing and we had the sidewalk chalk out. I drew a picture and asked Mr. T if he knew what it was. He said, “Yes! It’s a MOOSE!” I said, ‘You’re right buddy! But do I REALLY look like that??” He looked at me with the most incredulous little face and said, “Uh, NO…You’re an AUNT Moose!”
Duh. Apparently that’s a whole other species. (And I’m not complaining).
At another time I was sitting with him and I asked him if he knows how much I love him. He stretched out his arms as wide as he could and said, “This much?” I stretched out my own arms, which of course were much wider, and said, “Even MORE than THIS much! 5 times more. 500 times more. 5 MILLION times more!” He looked at me with wide-eyed wonder and said, “I know—a THOUSAND times more!”
He jumped up and ran off to his room and came right back with a book. I should have noted the title, but it’s something that starts with a couple of monkeys and eventually builds to the crescendo—a thousand monkeys. He anxiously turned the last page, animated with monkeys everywhere, and proclaimed that he loves me “more than a thousand monkeys!”
Yep. That’s my kind of kid!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Pura Vida
Whew. OK...it's been ages since I last posted. Sorry about that! There's LOTS going on in Moosedom right now and I just haven't had a chance to write.
Part of the distraction was, in a word, PARADISE. I went on vacation last week to Costa Rica and it was the Best. Vacation. Ever. Seriously.
One of the challenges of being a 30-something single girl (who loves to travel) is finding others who have the same interests, availability and budget for a fun vacation. So I sent out a note to the many amazing single girls I know and started looking for the perfect place to go.
Hello luxurylink.com. If you aren't familiar with this website, now's the time to turn the light on and get to know one of my favorite places to hang out on this little thing we call the World Wide Web. LuxuryLink is a site that features high-end vacation rentals at discounted rates and auctions. The first time I went out to look for ideas I found the perfect place. A gift really. A little slice of paradise called Casa Oceano. And we got an amazing deal on an even more amazing house (and by house I mean villa-mansion-dwelling deluxe).
A few of us all started reaching out to our fabulous friends and ended up with the perfect group of six. Perfect not only because they were all accomplished, interesting, fun women, but also because the house had six bedrooms and, well, you can do the math. Perfection.
Costa Rica 2009 and Las Gringas Locas was an experience that I will always treasure for the fun and the friendship, but even more for the reminder of God's faithfulness.
Part of the distraction was, in a word, PARADISE. I went on vacation last week to Costa Rica and it was the Best. Vacation. Ever. Seriously.
One of the challenges of being a 30-something single girl (who loves to travel) is finding others who have the same interests, availability and budget for a fun vacation. So I sent out a note to the many amazing single girls I know and started looking for the perfect place to go.
Hello luxurylink.com. If you aren't familiar with this website, now's the time to turn the light on and get to know one of my favorite places to hang out on this little thing we call the World Wide Web. LuxuryLink is a site that features high-end vacation rentals at discounted rates and auctions. The first time I went out to look for ideas I found the perfect place. A gift really. A little slice of paradise called Casa Oceano. And we got an amazing deal on an even more amazing house (and by house I mean villa-mansion-dwelling deluxe).
A few of us all started reaching out to our fabulous friends and ended up with the perfect group of six. Perfect not only because they were all accomplished, interesting, fun women, but also because the house had six bedrooms and, well, you can do the math. Perfection.
This trip was truly spectacular. But I have to say, that on top of all the fun and luxury and, hello, decadence, it was also a very spiritual trip. I have always felt closest to God in nature. Those moments when I look around me in awe of the natural beauty and know that God just breathed it and it came into being.
On this trip I was overwhelmed by the gift that God was giving me (and the whole group). It was impressed on me that when He was creating this beautiful coastline with its thundering surf and jagged volcanic rock, that he knew we would be there to enjoy His handiwork. That, if for nothing else, He created it for the moments that we were there to appreciate it. It all goes back to the post I wrote a few weeks ago: my life is so good and for too long I've taken for granted the beauty around me that was all a gift to enjoy.
In the last few days that I was there I was a little overwhelmed by some potentially big decisions and changes that I knew would be in front of me when I got back (sorry to be cryptic...more info as I am able to share). For a while now, the trip has been a barrier between present and future and I was acutely aware that as the trip ended that future would no longer be something "out there" but become the here and now.
In the midst of that I spent some time praying and God took me to Mark 5:18 where JC said, "Go home and tell your family what I've done for you and how good my mercies are." Yep. That fits.
This trip was such a gift and to say that God's mercies are good is simply inadequate. His love for us is perfect. He knows exactly what each one of us need in every moment and, if we're willing to open our eyes and notice, He'll show us how He's meeting those needs.
I'm really sorry that I didn't have the opportunity to blog each day of the trip to share all the fun stories with you. We had such an adventure and more fun than I can convey here. Here are a few pictures that I hope at least give you a taste of our experience.Our fabulous group a the lookout point at the end of our beach:
The beach behind me was our playground. Our house was down by the rocks at the end of the beach.
Our amazing house:
From the dining room looking out over the sundeck (looking out over the ocean):
Our private beach:
A coconut I found on said beach:
We hiked to the waterfalls in Montezuma:
Swimming in the falls:
This is Sebastian (a.k.a. one of my favorite stories). This crab apparently sleeps in the house at the base of the stairs to my room. We tried to remove him and he just came back. We tried to scare him...no luck. And then we took this picture. And he never came back. Apparently Sebastian can read. And got the hint...
Ziplining in the canopy near Montezuma!
The last day we were there about 20 howler monkeys stopped by to visit. AMAZING!!
B.L.I.S.S
Soaking up the sun. Sigh. (I want to go back!!)
Costa Rica 2009 and Las Gringas Locas was an experience that I will always treasure for the fun and the friendship, but even more for the reminder of God's faithfulness.
The motto in the CR is Pura Vida--the good life.
Thanks, God for giving me one that is amazingly good.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Surf's UP!
OK. So, yes. I'm astronomically accident prone. We've clearly established that and have this as Exhibit A.
BUT...I also like to fancy myself as the adventurous sort and will offer up this as Exhibit B.
And (I hope) I've made it clear that I'm ALL IN along this journey of making the most of all that life has to offer in the here and now.
So despite the tendency to, uh, bruise like a peach, I just can't slow down when it comes to not only living my life, but fully experiencing our groovy little world. Along those lines I finally did something last weekend that I've been wanting to do for ages.
Several years ago I heard about a surf school in San Diego called Surf Diva. Hello...could there possibly be a better name for an establishment created to teach women how to conquor the ocean and surf?? Two sisters started Surf Diva about 20 years ago, and while they began as an surf school for women, they are now ranked as the number one surf school in San Diego (and they're even willing to help the surfer dudes out there get up and hang ten).
I knew as soon as I heard about them that THIS was a place I wanted to go to learn how to surf. So when I had a work trip to San Diego pop up, I immediately made plans to come in early and booked my first surfing lesson.
And the surfing? It is CRAZY FUN!
It's a sad thing that there are no action shots, because, y'all...I actually did WELL at this new venture! Carla and Shayna are clearly talented instructors, because I got up on my second wave and rode the third. But of course I started to overthink it and struggled a bit. (My instructor asked what I do for a living and then ascertained that I seem to always be plotting what my next step is going to be.)
That's not me at all. Except, you know, EXACTLY.
Apparently this is a sport that requires one to stop thinking about it and just "feel the waves" and once I did that I got back up and at 'em.
The pictures are certainly not my best...but I couldn't care less, beacause they were captured on a day that I smiled from ear to ear for HOURS. And so here they are completely untouched.
BUT...I also like to fancy myself as the adventurous sort and will offer up this as Exhibit B.
And (I hope) I've made it clear that I'm ALL IN along this journey of making the most of all that life has to offer in the here and now.
So despite the tendency to, uh, bruise like a peach, I just can't slow down when it comes to not only living my life, but fully experiencing our groovy little world. Along those lines I finally did something last weekend that I've been wanting to do for ages.
Several years ago I heard about a surf school in San Diego called Surf Diva. Hello...could there possibly be a better name for an establishment created to teach women how to conquor the ocean and surf?? Two sisters started Surf Diva about 20 years ago, and while they began as an surf school for women, they are now ranked as the number one surf school in San Diego (and they're even willing to help the surfer dudes out there get up and hang ten).
I knew as soon as I heard about them that THIS was a place I wanted to go to learn how to surf. So when I had a work trip to San Diego pop up, I immediately made plans to come in early and booked my first surfing lesson.
And the surfing? It is CRAZY FUN!
It's a sad thing that there are no action shots, because, y'all...I actually did WELL at this new venture! Carla and Shayna are clearly talented instructors, because I got up on my second wave and rode the third. But of course I started to overthink it and struggled a bit. (My instructor asked what I do for a living and then ascertained that I seem to always be plotting what my next step is going to be.)
That's not me at all. Except, you know, EXACTLY.
Apparently this is a sport that requires one to stop thinking about it and just "feel the waves" and once I did that I got back up and at 'em.
The pictures are certainly not my best...but I couldn't care less, beacause they were captured on a day that I smiled from ear to ear for HOURS. And so here they are completely untouched.
Just me and my board. SO SAD that my eyes are closed:
With bad ass Carla:
The newbies, Mel and Shayna (instructor in training):
I can feel it--I'm definitely hooked.
And I'm already plotting my next time out.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Ante Up
A year ago I thought I was the happiest I had ever been. I was madly in love with a guy I thought was “the one” and after a long time of waiting to find Prince Charming I thought everything was falling into place and it was all going to happen. Finally. All those things I wanted so much—passionate love, a great marriage, kiddos—would move from being things I dreamt about and become my daily life.
Yeah. Well. It clearly didn’t pan out that way.
Literally overnight we went from talking about marriage and dreaming about our future together to him telling me that this was over. In a word? Blindsided. In another word, devastated.
I’ll spare you all the messy details and just say that those were some dark days that followed.
But now it’s been almost a year, and you know what? I can honestly say that I’m happier right now than I have ever been. WOW. I did NOT see that coming. (And this is the kind of blindsided that I can get on board with.)
The thing is, I finally figured something out. It’s a funny thing to be 36 and single. It’s a state of being that most of world can’t relate to, and—most of the time—doesn’t quite know what to do with. Those of us in this life stage are often “other.” And I’ve spent a lot of time waiting and wanting to escape this category and fall into some idea of life that qualifies as “ordinary.”
And I regret to say that in my case, that waiting equated to mostly going through the motions while wishing I’d been dealt a different hand. Um, what’s that all about? What a waste of perfectly wonderful life. An extraordinary one, even.
And so at some point—without even realizing it, really—I got in the game and started to play the cards I’ve been dealt. And you know what? It’s a pretty fabulous hand.
I see it all around me—people who are stuck thinking about how green that grass looks on the other side of the fence. And it’s not just the single set. It always throws me for a loop when I hear people who have all things I think I want complain about their husbands or constantly tell me how their kids frustrate and exhaust them and rarely choose to focus on the light and love and joy that they bring.
It seems to me that we each have dozens of choices to make every day. And among the biggest of those is choosing how we’re going to look at this crazy little thing called life. I still hope that someday I’ll have the chance to be a wife and mom--and if I get that hand I’ll do all I can to play it well. But those aren’t the cards I’m holding right now.
And there’s no way I’m going to fold and go home.
What choices are you making today?
Me? I’m ALL IN.
Yeah. Well. It clearly didn’t pan out that way.
Literally overnight we went from talking about marriage and dreaming about our future together to him telling me that this was over. In a word? Blindsided. In another word, devastated.
I’ll spare you all the messy details and just say that those were some dark days that followed.
But now it’s been almost a year, and you know what? I can honestly say that I’m happier right now than I have ever been. WOW. I did NOT see that coming. (And this is the kind of blindsided that I can get on board with.)
The thing is, I finally figured something out. It’s a funny thing to be 36 and single. It’s a state of being that most of world can’t relate to, and—most of the time—doesn’t quite know what to do with. Those of us in this life stage are often “other.” And I’ve spent a lot of time waiting and wanting to escape this category and fall into some idea of life that qualifies as “ordinary.”
And I regret to say that in my case, that waiting equated to mostly going through the motions while wishing I’d been dealt a different hand. Um, what’s that all about? What a waste of perfectly wonderful life. An extraordinary one, even.
And so at some point—without even realizing it, really—I got in the game and started to play the cards I’ve been dealt. And you know what? It’s a pretty fabulous hand.
I see it all around me—people who are stuck thinking about how green that grass looks on the other side of the fence. And it’s not just the single set. It always throws me for a loop when I hear people who have all things I think I want complain about their husbands or constantly tell me how their kids frustrate and exhaust them and rarely choose to focus on the light and love and joy that they bring.
It seems to me that we each have dozens of choices to make every day. And among the biggest of those is choosing how we’re going to look at this crazy little thing called life. I still hope that someday I’ll have the chance to be a wife and mom--and if I get that hand I’ll do all I can to play it well. But those aren’t the cards I’m holding right now.
And there’s no way I’m going to fold and go home.
What choices are you making today?
Me? I’m ALL IN.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Pizza-rific!
So if you know me at all you know that I don't really cook. It's not that I don't enjoy it or that I'm completely devoid of culinary abilities, I just rarely make the time to do more than heat up a Lean Cuisine or something similarly (not) time consuming.
When I was in SoCal for work my friend Guy the video guy and his sweet wife Margaret invited me over for dinner. And there was a moment of concern when I learned that menu primarily consisted of pizza. One of which I would be required to make.
But under the excellent tutelage of the experts I was shockingly pleased with the results. And--of course--needed to document my little moment of triumph.
When I was in SoCal for work my friend Guy the video guy and his sweet wife Margaret invited me over for dinner. And there was a moment of concern when I learned that menu primarily consisted of pizza. One of which I would be required to make.
But under the excellent tutelage of the experts I was shockingly pleased with the results. And--of course--needed to document my little moment of triumph.
Yes--that's me with, ahem, a rolling pin.
Clearly this was a task that required concentration.
And some help from the expert.
Ready for the fire.
Getting it in the super groovy pizza stone grill contraption thingy.
The experts inspect the final product.
Voila!
Guy with his finished pizza.
We made a crazy number of pizzas and mine was certainly not the best, but it was a delicious endeavor nonetheless. And pretty darn tastey in its own right.
(So much better than Lean Cuisine).
Thank you Ristorante Cirinelli for such a fun time--Buono!
pixurw4j6f
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