tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57726300509041030022024-03-14T01:16:57.562-05:00My Life as a MooseMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-69844444565782616952012-09-17T20:57:00.001-05:002012-09-17T20:57:47.874-05:00A Letter to My Girl
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Dear Eliza,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I can’t believe the moment is almost here—the moment when we
finally get to see your sweet face and hear your (hopefully) strong cry. That
is if I can hear you over my own crying and see you through my own tears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It’s taken nine months for you to grow big and strong enough
to come out and meet the world. But it’s taken much longer than that, sweet
girl, for me to become your mama. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I guess this is where I should warn you that your Daddy and
I might be a little older than the parents of some of your friends (though
we’re happy that we likely won’t be the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">only</i>
parents at Kindergarten drop off in our mid-forties).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Many years and tears and prayers got me to this day. Waiting
to find your Daddy and then being amazed at how perfect he is for me. Together
waiting for the news that you were on the way. We loved and lost your big
brother along the way, and as much as we miss him, we know that he helped bring
you to us, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We already love you so much more than we could ever believe.
Everyone tells us that what we feel now is nothing compared to how we’ll feel
after we actually get to meet you. I can’t imagine loving you more, but I’m
more than willing to accept the challenge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I’m going to miss having you inside of me. To feel your (not
so) little kicks and rolls. Your sweet little hiccups that pop-pop away. The
way you make my stomach dance—I could watch it for hours. And, selfishly, just
getting to have you all to myself, 24-7. Being pregnant with you has been such
a gift. I pray that God will write these moments on my heart so I will never
forget.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But it’s time. It’s time for you to come out and meet the
world. For me to make the mental leap that this little alien inside of me is
really you. A real baby who will stretch and cry and eat and dirty more diapers
than we can imagine. A real little human who will grow and change and become
your own person. I think that’s what we’re most excited about—to see who you
are and who you will become. To know you and have the privilege to watch you
grow and shape you along the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So let’s do this, baby girl. Try not to be too scared when
you come out—conditions are going to be quite different than what you’re used
to. But Daddy and I will be right there and we’ll take good care of you. We’re
SO excited to meet you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">All my love,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Mama</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-62423514401305969542012-09-16T22:19:00.001-05:002012-09-16T22:19:49.508-05:00The Progression<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A look back at the past 9 months:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tzjrEVHchdw/UFaT19FG04I/AAAAAAAAAdY/mi6ZyWsRaaU/s1600/photo-30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tzjrEVHchdw/UFaT19FG04I/AAAAAAAAAdY/mi6ZyWsRaaU/s400/photo-30.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">8 Weeks</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q9vSfVm6H5s/UFaT3BBjD5I/AAAAAAAAAdg/vSzppYnt60c/s1600/photo-31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q9vSfVm6H5s/UFaT3BBjD5I/AAAAAAAAAdg/vSzppYnt60c/s400/photo-31.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">18 Weeks</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Nghzr_elfjQ/UFaT4MPAmtI/AAAAAAAAAdo/9GVkllP3OcE/s1600/photo-32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Nghzr_elfjQ/UFaT4MPAmtI/AAAAAAAAAdo/9GVkllP3OcE/s400/photo-32.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">28 Weeks</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iv8KRb69zGo/UFaT5TzOS6I/AAAAAAAAAdw/UmqZGBMc3CM/s1600/photo-33.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iv8KRb69zGo/UFaT5TzOS6I/AAAAAAAAAdw/UmqZGBMc3CM/s400/photo-33.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">38 Weeks</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Luckily we don't have to rely only on my (terrible) self photography. Our super fantabulous wedding photographer, Chip Gillespie, shot some pictures for us, too. (Taken at 33wks).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JUYKvMMdv6M/UFaVh2nD8SI/AAAAAAAAAd4/0klEybEQ5TI/s1600/120810_Parker_166.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JUYKvMMdv6M/UFaVh2nD8SI/AAAAAAAAAd4/0klEybEQ5TI/s400/120810_Parker_166.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">You can see more of his amazing pictures on his blog <a href="http://chipgillespie.com/blog/melissa-and-matt-austin-tx-maternity-session/" target="_blank">right here</a>. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Just a few more hours until we get to see what's been growing inside that big belly! </span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-16567670624772543102012-09-10T18:33:00.001-05:002012-09-10T18:33:25.622-05:00A Place to Call Home
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Well…so much for doing a great job of blogging all summer
and documenting the pregnancy. In my defense, we did have a few things going on
with the move and a new job for Matt and, well, getting ready for this baby
girl to get here. I had grand intentions to write about how overwhelming it is
to register. To share some of the joy of celebrations for Eliza with friends.
To share some of the thoughts and feelings that have been part of this journey.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Yeah. Guess that didn’t happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So now here we are one week away from meeting our girl. I’m
having a baby next week. At the latest. That more than blows my mind! I’m going
to tackle how I really feel about that in another post (I promise!) and use
this one to share some of preparations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So we bought a house and moved in! Matt was still job
searching when we moved which ended up being perfect—he was completely
available for all of my honey do’s. We’re really happy with the house and have
enjoyed getting to entertain again. (Have I mentioned lately how lucky I am to
have a husband who loves to cook? And he’s so freaking good at it.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The most fun, though, has been the nursery. It was so much
more than just decorating a room in the house. It was so fun to put
together the part of our home that will belong to our daughter. Rather than
explaining it, I thought I show you in pictures.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GRSwHeQkwz0/UE5zbSP0WXI/AAAAAAAAAbM/PtJ9GlbXwg8/s1600/IMG_1626.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GRSwHeQkwz0/UE5zbSP0WXI/AAAAAAAAAbM/PtJ9GlbXwg8/s400/IMG_1626.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">The before picture--don't be fooled by thinking that paint is pale. It was beyond pepto and this just doesn't do it justice.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TEw1MaLGTpE/UE5zfnDy5RI/AAAAAAAAAbU/JjEebclmdxY/s1600/IMG_1628.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TEw1MaLGTpE/UE5zfnDy5RI/AAAAAAAAAbU/JjEebclmdxY/s400/IMG_1628.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">Proud papa getting painting the room with his usual gusto. We painted it "Cool Jazz" from Behr. It's kind of a Tiffany blue in person.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SkM3e-exE7A/UE5zkrFRNyI/AAAAAAAAAbg/A0TkocWWKPQ/s1600/IMG_1678.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SkM3e-exE7A/UE5zkrFRNyI/AAAAAAAAAbg/A0TkocWWKPQ/s400/IMG_1678.jpg" width="300" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">This armoire belonged to my grandparents. My grandmother painted it back in the 70's and after they passed away I asked for it because I thought it would be so perfect in a little girl's room. Good thing we're having a girl! We replaced the original hardware with glass pulls.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kEEzFDRp1AE/UE5zoSEU86I/AAAAAAAAAbo/ikyCy6lT2fY/s1600/IMG_1683.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kEEzFDRp1AE/UE5zoSEU86I/AAAAAAAAAbo/ikyCy6lT2fY/s400/IMG_1683.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">Hanging pictures</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HCN9w7yikuU/UE5zsbujfxI/AAAAAAAAAbw/_FKHFRed5xk/s1600/IMG_1701.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HCN9w7yikuU/UE5zsbujfxI/AAAAAAAAAbw/_FKHFRed5xk/s400/IMG_1701.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">The finished room! This is the view from the door.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NJqexnmhid4/UE5zv-lLE_I/AAAAAAAAAb4/b3nR2-gkzDk/s1600/IMG_1702.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NJqexnmhid4/UE5zv-lLE_I/AAAAAAAAAb4/b3nR2-gkzDk/s400/IMG_1702.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">The art for her name was really my only creative project in the room. I took the fabrics we were using and wrapped 12x12 art canvases and then attached the letters. I love how it turned out! </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--ZDQUgQ2je4/UE5z0h5MUKI/AAAAAAAAAcA/pQHdPeCKXRM/s1600/IMG_1704.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--ZDQUgQ2je4/UE5z0h5MUKI/AAAAAAAAAcA/pQHdPeCKXRM/s400/IMG_1704.jpg" width="300" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">We're going to make a few changes on the shelves after we get some pictures back, but I love her book shelf and toys.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rzHaoON_1wM/UE5z8hZXkGI/AAAAAAAAAcU/_n9wmkileXI/s1600/IMG_1707.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rzHaoON_1wM/UE5z8hZXkGI/AAAAAAAAAcU/_n9wmkileXI/s400/IMG_1707.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">Details of the prints over the crib. They're from JustBunch on Etsy.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6-3014IuULE/UE50BhwmQwI/AAAAAAAAAcc/0ewTIW2UxxM/s1600/IMG_1708.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6-3014IuULE/UE50BhwmQwI/AAAAAAAAAcc/0ewTIW2UxxM/s400/IMG_1708.jpg" width="300" /></span></a></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yNOFltVbAX0/UE50Km9gtpI/AAAAAAAAAcw/RFgiXDJO07w/s1600/IMG_1711.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yNOFltVbAX0/UE50Km9gtpI/AAAAAAAAAcw/RFgiXDJO07w/s400/IMG_1711.jpg" width="300" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">Detail of the valance. I ordered it and the crib skirt from ThePinCushion on Etsy.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SdY2e1Rhocs/UE5z47EdhEI/AAAAAAAAAcM/6q2LmRCl_QE/s1600/IMG_1705.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SdY2e1Rhocs/UE5z47EdhEI/AAAAAAAAAcM/6q2LmRCl_QE/s400/IMG_1705.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">I love this armoire so much!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3riurgiU89E/UE50PqxqKCI/AAAAAAAAAc4/er6IWs4AiAA/s1600/IMG_1712.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3riurgiU89E/UE50PqxqKCI/AAAAAAAAAc4/er6IWs4AiAA/s400/IMG_1712.jpg" width="300" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">So this is really my favorite room in the house--her closet!! I just love all those little clothes! I guess the bow board is a second creative project I painted. I'm going to have to add longer ribbon, though, for all those sweet bows.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JZXCVF6oLHU/UE50TlrTMrI/AAAAAAAAAdA/tT_1GXElS0g/s1600/IMG_1715.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JZXCVF6oLHU/UE50TlrTMrI/AAAAAAAAAdA/tT_1GXElS0g/s400/IMG_1715.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">The view from the closet.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">We're really pleased with how it all came together. It's all done and ready to use now...all we need is for her to get here and enjoy it!</span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<!--EndFragment-->Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-82609275231363106882012-06-11T21:35:00.000-05:002012-06-11T21:35:58.717-05:00One Year<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today is our first wedding anniversary. I can’t believe that
it’s already been a year. Then again, I can’t believe that it’s only been a
year. Twelve months that we’ve packed just about as full as we could have with,
well, pretty much every life event we could have. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MDP—Thanks for an amazing first year. We’ve had some great
adventures and we’ve shared the highest highs and lowest lows. I’m so glad that
you’re my partner on this journey. I can’t wait to see what year two brings our
way!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nGPmxT-ihDQ/T9aqMvrdnVI/AAAAAAAAAbA/cDQMPbtcEUE/s1600/Matt&Mellissa+(130).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nGPmxT-ihDQ/T9aqMvrdnVI/AAAAAAAAAbA/cDQMPbtcEUE/s400/Matt&Mellissa+(130).jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">June 11, 2011</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jCnhMiZAJKk/T9aqI5Ee6FI/AAAAAAAAAa4/Fw71xiYaYcs/s1600/IMG_1617.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jCnhMiZAJKk/T9aqI5Ee6FI/AAAAAAAAAa4/Fw71xiYaYcs/s400/IMG_1617.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">June 7, 2012--What a difference a year makes!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-43234552069298426912012-05-17T20:50:00.003-05:002012-05-17T20:50:46.055-05:00Beanie's Day<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Today was my due date with Beanie. It’s been a long and
bittersweet day as we’ve remembered our sweet first baby and tried to celebrate
his short life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It’s a crazy thing, loving the baby in your belly so much
and missing the one in Heaven just as much. If Beanie had lived we wouldn’t
have our sweet girl. But having her doesn’t make us miss him any less or make
me stop wishing I were holding him right now and soaking in his newborn smell
and snuggles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I often wish they were twins, either still baking or both
just born. But I don’t get to choose. So we remember our Beanie and continue to
love him the best way we know how. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
we love his little sister and are grateful for every day that we get with her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We love you so much, Beanie. I wish I was holding you in my
arms, but you’ll always be in our hearts. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-26039759603909133702012-05-14T07:43:00.002-05:002012-05-14T07:43:55.076-05:00Tickled Pink!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Baby Bacon is a GIRL! We had an amazing day yesterday with
our families gathered to celebrate Mother’s Day, my Mother-in-law’s birthday
and, of course, finding out what kind of bacon we’re making. In a word?
Priceless!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We decided to do the cake thing to find out if we’re having a boy or girl. Matt wasn’t completely sold on this to begin with, but, well, it’s cake! How can you really go wrong with that?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--3fO_o05kJg/T7D7qRHwpNI/AAAAAAAAAaE/z8wd1pkX6oY/s1600/IMG_1575.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--3fO_o05kJg/T7D7qRHwpNI/AAAAAAAAAaE/z8wd1pkX6oY/s400/IMG_1575.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We decided to cut it before we ate so we wouldn’t all be scarfing down our lunch to get to dessert. It was a precious moment!</span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-17PaGw9hOYI/T7D7vxeGHmI/AAAAAAAAAaM/exhZ78r07f8/s1600/IMG_1582.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-17PaGw9hOYI/T7D7vxeGHmI/AAAAAAAAAaM/exhZ78r07f8/s400/IMG_1582.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yCStlF7U7QY/T7D8D-S545I/AAAAAAAAAas/6TfEuCAHFd8/s1600/photo-15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yCStlF7U7QY/T7D8D-S545I/AAAAAAAAAas/6TfEuCAHFd8/s400/photo-15.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Despite the fact that my hunch was girl very early and all the “old wives tales” pointed to girl, I was still genuinely surprised to see that pink frosting.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b6GMfl3LGIQ/T7D71Ijvl0I/AAAAAAAAAaU/bdUmVywKblo/s1600/IMG_1586.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b6GMfl3LGIQ/T7D71Ijvl0I/AAAAAAAAAaU/bdUmVywKblo/s400/IMG_1586.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2bV-tBWmet8/T7D77KaLrRI/AAAAAAAAAac/ZYAGqp0kVqA/s1600/IMG_1594.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2bV-tBWmet8/T7D77KaLrRI/AAAAAAAAAac/ZYAGqp0kVqA/s320/IMG_1594.jpg" width="197" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">After everyone left, we were so excited that we decided to go shopping to get started on her wardrobe. Miss Eliza is going to be a well-dressed baby!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H3_kCM2pggQ/T7D8Acb3ujI/AAAAAAAAAak/li3u2qMfzzs/s1600/IMG_1596.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H3_kCM2pggQ/T7D8Acb3ujI/AAAAAAAAAak/li3u2qMfzzs/s320/IMG_1596.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I could barely sleep last night. I kept thinking about dollhouses and ballet recitals and those obnoxiously large hair flower/bows that I think are crazy cute. She’ll have plenty of opportunities for sports and trains and the “boy” things, too, but for now I’m just relishing the thoughts of sugar and spice and everything nice.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Until she’s 13 and screams that she hates me as she runs
down the hall. But that’s going to be OK, too. I’m pretty sure that part is
just called payback—right, mom?</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-75315134049168191492012-05-08T18:58:00.001-05:002012-05-08T18:58:13.192-05:00Half Baked!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Holy cow! Today I’m 20 weeks—I can’t believe we’re half way
through this pregnancy and that Bacon will be here before we know it. After a
first trimester that c r a w l e d along, the second trimester is just flying
by. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since, you know, everyone said it would be
this way. They also said that the last trimester would go back to a snail’s
pace, so I guess this means I should enjoy the next few weeks before time slows
back down.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qkxx8dB98Tg/T6mxZoVrcGI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/1kiOwMWUDQQ/s1600/IMG_1571.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qkxx8dB98Tg/T6mxZoVrcGI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/1kiOwMWUDQQ/s400/IMG_1571.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">20 weeks!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Late last week we had our “big” ultrasound, also known as
the 20 week ultrasound and officially known as an anatomy scan. This is a
45-ish minute scan where they look at bones and organs and even lips to make
sure that everything looks good and measures on track. Bacon’s anatomy is
perfect! And the little stinker isn’t so little—s/he’s measuring at the 88<sup>th</sup>
percentile in size. No tiny baby for us!</span></div>
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<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EnQ8hgHWEiE/T6humBsdO2I/AAAAAAAAAZM/mjYQuz6wYW4/s1600/photo-10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EnQ8hgHWEiE/T6humBsdO2I/AAAAAAAAAZM/mjYQuz6wYW4/s400/photo-10.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sweet profile</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We did get one bit of news that wasn’t perfect. I have a two
vessel cord, also know as single umbilical artery. The cord usually has three
vessels—a vein and two arteries. I have one vein and one artery. This is
something that happens in 1-3% of pregnancies and could be problematic, but the
doc is not at all concerned given the other factors that paint the bigger
picture. I asked if this might keep the baby from getting the nutrients needed
and she pointed out that at 88<sup>th</sup> percentile, this clearly isn’t an
issue. But there is a chance it could become one, so we’ll have extra
ultrasounds and just keep a close eye on things to make sure the Bacon Bit keeps
up the pace and growth remains strong.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hYKllyENWVA/T6hu_xW6PjI/AAAAAAAAAZk/glqZDOB0un0/s1600/photo-12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hYKllyENWVA/T6hu_xW6PjI/AAAAAAAAAZk/glqZDOB0un0/s400/photo-12.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can't wait to squeeze those hands!</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Wondering if it’s a boy or girl? So are we! It’s been
written down and sealed in an envelope to be opened on Sunday. We’re excited to
have our families coming over to celebrate Mother’s Day and we’re going to have
a little extra fun by finding out together if we’ve got a Baconator or
Baconette cooking in there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wMjEnOKCY0s/T6hu8SLXqHI/AAAAAAAAAZc/7g0oSt1NDrs/s1600/photo-11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wMjEnOKCY0s/T6hu8SLXqHI/AAAAAAAAAZc/7g0oSt1NDrs/s400/photo-11.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Perfect little foot! Kicks are getting stronger--Daddy got to feel them for the first time on Sunday.</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It’s hard to believe we’ve only been in Austin for a little
over a week. So much has happened already—and we found a house! I’m shocked
that it happened that fast, but would rather find something we love right away
than go down to the wire looking. The contract was executed
today and we’re scheduled to celebrate our first anniversary by closing on our
first house together. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gHVT3RN_mK4/T6hvDVPGhiI/AAAAAAAAAZs/i1KN4wCybpg/s1600/photo-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gHVT3RN_mK4/T6hvDVPGhiI/AAAAAAAAAZs/i1KN4wCybpg/s400/photo-13.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Looks kind of like s/he's doing a flip. We're head over heals for you, Bacon!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Whew. No wonder I’m tired.</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-52994193310732292272012-05-01T21:46:00.000-05:002012-05-01T21:46:15.962-05:0017 Bathroom Breaks Later<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">Y’all, I’m just saying that 5 days is a lot of days to sit in a car. Especially when you have to stop all. the. time. to go to the bathroom*. That said, we made the most of The Great Cross-Country Road Trip Babymoon Adventure and we are now settling in to our temporary digs in Austin. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">All in all the move itself went well. We hit the road and spent the first night in Joshua Tree, CA where we got to stretch our legs and play on the rocks in the park. We also got to spend a little bit of time with friends in Phoenix and then made another detour to see family. We made a very special stop in West Texas in <a href="http://lifeasamoose.blogspot.com/2009/09/this-is-where-cowboy-rides-away.html" target="_blank">the little town</a> where my grandparents lived and my dad grew up. It was fun to show Matt the places where I played and to relive so many amazing childhood memories.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">We eventually made it into Austin (did I mention it took FIVE days?) and in the past 48 hours we moved into the rental (which would be really cool if it didn’t smell a little funky), started house hunting, bought a new (to us) car (we donated the on-its-last-leg Jeep before me moved) and sent me back to work in the real world. No wonder I’m tired and jonesing for a vacation from my “vacation.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">So, yeah. It’s all good. I’m still not so sure about the whole getting up and putting on real clothes and makeup to work, but I’m adjusting and hope to get back into the routine without too much grumbling. (Well, I guess it’s really Matt who hopes the grumbling dies down.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">I should add that Bacon endured the trip well. We’re 19 weeks today--almost half way! To mark the occasion s/he started kicking hard enough for me to feel it from the outside. Really hoping Matt gets the chance to feel this little kung fu fighter soon!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">* Fun fact: We really did stop 17 times to use the bathroom. I’m more than happy to report that only one of those facilities made me want to hurl. Bonus fun fact--gas dropped $.60 per gallon as we headed east. I’ll take it.</span></span></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-92187955434757779282012-04-22T21:26:00.000-05:002012-04-22T22:52:34.442-05:00East Bound and Down<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The time has come to say goodbye to Sonoma. So many people have asked me why I would possibly ever leave this corner of paradise and I can’t blame them. Living here is like living in a Norman Rockwell painting. Gorgeous scenery. Small town charm. Amazing food. And, of course, the wine.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The last year here has been one long honeymoon. From summer weekends spent poolside drinking bubbles, to hikes that kicked my butt but always delivered on the view from the top, to nights spent at our house enjoying dinner parties with Matt’s amazing cooking and a seemingly endless supply of delicious wine, to weekends out at the coast. We have been so beyond lucky to get to live in such a place. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I will miss being able to walk everywhere. I will miss the common bond of an ag community. I will miss friends who became dear in a short time. I will miss the amazing Farmer’s Market on the square on Tuesday nights during the summer. I will miss watching the life cycle of the vines as they bud and bloom and are harvested. I will miss the smell of wine fermenting in the fall. I will miss the hustle and bustle around town as tourists come through on their wine country get aways. I will even miss our spin class at the gym where we’re “the power couple” because we’re 20 years younger than everyone else in the class. And did I mention the wine?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We’ll be back of course. California is in our blood now--especially Matt who’s spent most of the past decade here. We’ll bring baby Bacon back some day and tell him or her that this was where we fell in love from the moment we found out I was pregnant. We’ll come back and visit the place where we said our “I do’s.” We’ll come back for the wine.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We’re very excited about the next chapter and can’t wait to get to Austin and see what’s going to happen next. So we’re off. The movers arrive in the morning and “The Great Babymoon Cross-country Road Trip Adventure” starts on Tuesday as we make the most of a long few days in the car.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We took a hike today to the spot where we got engaged and I snapped this photo on my phone. </span></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3t0QiwsXVBU/T5S9H1SMoVI/AAAAAAAAAZE/ZMOdWB4F4Ow/s1600/photo-8.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3t0QiwsXVBU/T5S9H1SMoVI/AAAAAAAAAZE/ZMOdWB4F4Ow/s400/photo-8.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Thank you, Sonoma, for everything. We’ve loved every minute and we can’t back to come back and see you again soon.</span></span></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-5069931617927914782012-04-10T23:16:00.000-05:002012-04-10T23:16:17.682-05:0016 Weeks<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When I left on previously we were headed back to the doctor for our 9 week appointment. I was feeling nervous, but I didn’t have the same sinking feeling as before, so I was more hopeful. The OB understood our anxiety and tried the Doppler before he did the ultrasound. I was surprised because I’d heard of so many women whose OBs won’t even try the Doppler before 12 weeks because it’s not so reliable that early, but there it was. Bacon’s little heart was just beating away. We recorded it on my phone and can’t tell you how many times we listened to that sweet little sound. Everything looked great on the ultrasound and Bacon was measuring a day ahead looking strong and healthy. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="140" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BNV4RTu6bjY/T4T-7m02_VI/AAAAAAAAAYs/EVxh1Lfo1c4/s200/Bacon9w+A_2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="200" /></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">Baby Bacon at 9w</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">At that point I think we started to let ourselves believe a little more. Up to that point I was feeling very pregnant (morning sickness has a way of bringing that reality home), but I was having a hard time connecting that with actually bringing home a baby in September. I wasn’t over the hump yet, but I did start to look at baby websites here and there and let a few little dreams seep in.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">Another two weeks later we went in for the first trimester screening—an ultrasound that takes some key measurements and is combined with blood work to provide a risk assessment for Down Syndrome and a few other chromosomal abnormalities. We drove about an hour to a perinatal practice and the quality of the images was just amazing. Our little Bacon Bit was squirming all over the place, literally bouncing off the walls and showing off by letting us get a good look at 10 little fingers as well as arms and legs and feet. We even got a good look at the brain. It was ah-mazing. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vgbVY3xgpEk/T4T_m3k13KI/AAAAAAAAAY0/udwjUx-_FgQ/s200/IMG_20120309_1_3_2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="195" /></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">Isn't s/he the cutest? 11w3d in 3D</span></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vgbVY3xgpEk/T4T_m3k13KI/AAAAAAAAAY0/udwjUx-_FgQ/s1600/IMG_20120309_1_3_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">Walking out that day I decided it was time to believe for real. I had fallen in love with Baby Bacon from day 1, but now it was time to believe that this baby is healthy and strong and we’re going to get to hold him or her in our arms in a few short months. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">Now, I’m PgAL, so that’s a lot easier said than done. I am more than aware of all the things that could still go wrong and I still have moments of anxiety. But I have more moments of faith and hope for this sweet child. Even if, God forbid, something else does go wrong, I want to enjoy every day that I have with this baby—even if I’m nauseous and exhausted and have the myriad of uncomfortable and embarrassing symptoms that come along with pregnancy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0px;">So here we are. 16 weeks and going strong. Still taking it all one day at a time, but getting more and more excited about the day that we’ll get to meet this little one and bring him/her home for good.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TEFqKsEJqsM/T4UD9BlqshI/AAAAAAAAAY8/08mfQ8oV814/s1600/IMG_1557.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TEFqKsEJqsM/T4UD9BlqshI/AAAAAAAAAY8/08mfQ8oV814/s320/IMG_1557.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">16 week belly shot</span></td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-70565601334165467172012-04-05T22:30:00.002-05:002012-04-22T22:52:50.345-05:00Here We Go Again...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Whew—what a
rollercoaster this journey to parenthood is. As we were still licking our
wounds and coming to terms with the <a href="http://lifeasamoose.blogspot.com/2012/01/then-came-baby-that-would-never-use.html" target="_blank">loss of our sweet Beanie</a>, we learned that
we are expecting again. When we saw that second pink line we were excited,
terrified, hopeful, terrified, cautious—and did I mention terrified??</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Being
pregnant after a loss (or PgAL in the loss circles) is a very complicated and
overwhelming place emotionally and I was wholly unprepared for what was about
to overcome me. In an instant I would feel the clash of joy and grief, hope and
sorrow, anticipation and guilt. More than once I found myself crying happy
tears for this baby that suddenly became an ugly cry of guilt and sorrow for
the baby we lost. It was, um, an interesting place to be (and I’m sure my sweet
husband was thrilled about living with someone whose emotions could turn on a
dime).</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1186.photobucket.com/albums/z364/VineyardMelP/Pics%20for%20TB/?action=view&current=Bacon5w3d_3-1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="251" src="http://i1186.photobucket.com/albums/z364/VineyardMelP/Pics%20for%20TB/Bacon5w3d_3-1.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Just a Bacon Bit at 5w3d</span></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Because of
our history and my age we got the Cadillac treatment with the doctors and we got our first
glimpse of “Baby Bacon” at 5.5 weeks. Still too early to see much of anything,
but we had the assurance that there was growth in the right place and
development was on track. We went back two weeks later and had one of those
life changing moments—this time we got to hear the sweetest little heart just
beating away. Cue more tears, this time filled with happiness and relief.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s1186.photobucket.com/albums/z364/VineyardMelP/Pics%20for%20TB/?action=view&current=Bacon7w3dwithHB_2-1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="216" src="http://i1186.photobucket.com/albums/z364/VineyardMelP/Pics%20for%20TB/Bacon7w3dwithHB_2-1.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Getting bigger! 7w3d</span></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But when
you’re PgAL, the relief is fleeting and you immediately begin to worry again.
Beanie was “older” than that when we lost him, after all, so presumably if we’d
had the same two appointments with him we would have heard his little heart
before it stopped. I think the following 10 days while we waited for the next
appointment and passed the time that little Beanie stopped growing were the
hardest. Not knowing if Bacon was still OK in there or if we’d go back at 9wks
and experience the same horror that we’d been through just a few months
earlier.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
During that
time I think I might have prayed harder than ever before. With Beanie I knew
something was wrong. It didn’t take away from the pain of the moment when we
realized our fears were coming true, but it did do something to help prepare me
for what was about to happen. I think that was a gift from God and I’m thankful
that he was gently getting me ready for what was about to happen. I prayed for
the same thing this time around—to either have peace and know that the baby
would be OK, or if something was going to go wrong again, to have that feeling
in my gut to help us prepare. In this midst of my anxiety, I did feel at peace
and I chose to believe that God would be faithful again in preparing my heart
for the appointment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">OK…I’ve
already written a novel. I’ll tell the rest of the story in the next post. (Don't worry, you already know <a href="http://lifeasamoose.blogspot.com/2012/04/little-news.html" target="_blank">how it turns out</a>.)</span></div>
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</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-64371937273892106732012-04-02T20:30:00.001-05:002012-04-22T22:53:01.169-05:00A Little News...<a href="http://s1186.photobucket.com/albums/z364/VineyardMelP/Pics%20for%20TB/?action=view&current=IMG_1539_2.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i1186.photobucket.com/albums/z364/VineyardMelP/Pics%20for%20TB/IMG_1539_2.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
And we're moving back to Texas. All kinds of changes in our crazy little world--and we couldn't be happier to be all shook up!Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-1309487339109099872012-01-25T12:17:00.000-06:002012-01-25T12:17:52.435-06:00Thirty-nine: An Ode to my ThirtiesI have officially embarked on the last year of my thirties. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. I haven’t thought that much about turning 40. I don’t have any particularly bad feelings about it, but I also can’t say that I’m as excited about it as I was when I turned 30. <br />
<br />
Maybe I’m just feeling a bit nostalgic because I’ve really loved my thirties. I made a lot of mistakes in my twenties, and I feel like I made up for it in my thirties. I really grew up and figured out who I am and who I want to be. I got my MBA, bought my first house and reconnected with my faith.<br />
<br />
I grew in my career over the past decade and I took a lot of risks. I walked away from Corporate America to follow my heart and go to work for the church…and I went back into the corporate world and moved across the country to pursue fun new opportunities. I figured out what I’m good at and what I enjoy and, for the most part, how to combine those to find work that is fun and satisfying.<br />
<br />
The majority of my thirties I was single and trying to figure out what kind of man I wanted to have a lifelong partnership with. I cried more than a few tears as my heart ached to find someone who would add more love and laughter and adventure to my life. I went on a lot of blind dates and spent a lot of time with my girlfriends swapping stories about dating—the good, the bad and the ugly.<br />
<br />
Then, of course, I found him. I enjoyed a whirlwind romance and the amazing process of becoming even more of myself just by being with him. I fell in love, got married and started yet a new chapter in NorCal. I learned a lot about wine and, well, sure enjoyed my fair share of it. I found unspeakable joy in getting pregnant and I discovered renewed strength in surviving a miscarriage.<br />
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So here I am with 362 more days to see what else might happen in this decade that has already seen so much. I’m sure that my forties will have their own list of adventures and struggles and events that further shape and define this little life of mine, and a year from now I’ll probably be ready to charge ahead.<br />
<br />
Until then, though, I’m going enjoy these last months and do my best to squeeze every ounce out of them. (And not just the wine.)<br />
<br />
Bring it, thirty-nine—I can’t wait to see what you have in store.<br />
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-2885532612628291772012-01-16T18:30:00.000-06:002012-01-16T18:30:58.198-06:0010 Things Not to Say<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It’s not my plan to make this a blog that’s just about miscarriage/pregnancy loss, but as I said in the previous post, it’s not something you just “get over” and so it’s on my mind. A lot. I spend a little (and sometimes a lot) of time online everyday with some seriously fantastic women. From my own experience and from the stories I’ve read I thought I would put together a little list of things that you shouldn’t say to someone who’s dealing with a loss.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I want to throw out a caveat first, though. I can see how this could easily be misconstrued by people in my life who might have said some of these things to me. I just want to say that I really do get it. I know that most comments have the right intentions and I try to view everything through that lens. This isn’t me taking a shot at you.</span> <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I’ve been guilty myself of saying the wrong thing. And when someone’s heart is broken and grieving it’s really hard to know what to say at all. Hopefully this list will help someone out there to help someone else down the line. So…in no particular order, here we go:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">1. It was probably for the best. (The best? For who? Doesn’t feel like the best to me.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">2. At least you won’t have an unhealthy baby. (I’ll love whatever child I’m given, thank you.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">3. God wasn’t ready for you to be a mother yet. (Really? Just really??)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">4. At least you know you can get pregnant. (Right…but staying pregnant is kind of key to whole process, yes?)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">5. You’re so stressed at work—do you think that caused it? (There’s almost nothing you can do to “cause” an early loss. And even though we know that, most of us worry that we might have done something to cause it. Just don’t go there—are you trying to make me feel guilty on TOP of feeling heartbroken?)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">6. At least it was early. (I fell in love the day we found out. A loss hurts like hell no matter when it happens.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">7. Just try to forget about it. ( Ouch—really?)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">8. What’s the problem? If you want a baby, just get pregnant again. ((A)I don’t just want “a” baby, I want the one I lost and B) I wish we could all just pregnant when we want to…it so doesn’t work like that.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">9. That’s so awful. Now let me tell you about the awful things going on in my life….(Sigh. I want to be there for the people in my life, especially when they’re hurting. But my baby just died, don’t ignore my pain and expect me to be able to focus on your problems right now.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">10. I know this sucks, but you’ll have your babies some day. (This is the one I’ve gotten the most and I completely appreciate the sentiment and where it’s coming from. But, as mentioned in #8, I’m grieving a baby that I loved and wanted. I hope I’ll have babies some day, but I wanted THIS one. It takes away from the baby I just lost to so easily replace him with another baby down the road. I also know at this point that there are no guarantees in the journey to parenthood, especially at my age.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">There are plenty more (and if you’ve been through it and want to add to the list, please leave a comment!). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So what should you say? Say that you’re sorry. Say that you hate that we’re hurting so much. Say that this is unfair and that it sucks. Offer to be there for us if and when we want to talk. Pray with us. Treat it like you would the loss of any other family member or friend. Keep reaching out with calls or texts or emails—just a note that you’re thinking of us does wonders to keep us going. Just be there and let us know that while you might understand our exact pain, you love us and want to do whatever you can to help us while we grieve. Don’t be afraid to ask us how we’re doing—you’re not going to remind me of it, we already think about it all the time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And to those of you who loved on me over the past few months—thank you for caring and taking such good care of us.</span><br />
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-32239864330035202382012-01-08T16:12:00.000-06:002012-01-08T16:13:24.057-06:00Then Came a Baby who Would Never Use a Carriage<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I said in my last post that I wouldn't be announcing that I'm pregnant, and I'm not. But I guess that's only part of the story because I was. I've debated for a while as to whether or not I should share this story, but it might be the most significant thing that's ever happened to either of us and I don't want our baby to be a secret.</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We never hid the fact that we would start trying to get pregnant as soon as we got hitched. Um, we're old by the fertility world's standards, right? We knew that we wanted a family and we also knew that we needed to jump right in cause the clock is ticking. </span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">On a run of the mill Wednesday morning in early September it happened--I took a test and saw the second pink line. It was pretty faint and M wasn't so sure that he saw it, so I tested with a digital and that beautiful word popped right up: Pregnant. I screamed and he ran back into the room and I jumped up and down and we laughed and cried all at the same time. </span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Then we went to spin class. (Cause we're uber romantic like that).</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We fell in love that day with the little life inside me that we called Beanie. Over the next weeks we talked to "him" and told him stories about how excited we were to meet him and all the plans we had for playing and learning and all the things we wanted to do together as a family. I had no idea how quickly and completely you could love someone you've never met and was no larger than a raspberry. I started having symptoms and looking at maternity clothes. We talked about names and what we might want to do for a nursery. They were the happiest weeks of my life.</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Then the symptoms went away. If you know me in real life, you know that I'm a realist (and maybe a little neurotic?). I spend way too much time on the internet and I don't do much that I haven't already researched. Unlike a lot of first time moms, I wasn't really that naive. I knew the stats on miscarriage and have a painfully long list of friends who have experienced loss. When the symptoms subsided I knew something was wrong.</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Two days shy of 9 weeks we had our first appointment including an ultrasound where we desperately hoped that my instincts were wrong and that we'd see a heartbeat. We didn't. We saw a beautiful little baby on that screen who looked perfect. But he measured a week behind and was no longer alive.</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There are no words to describe that moment. I was initially in disbelief and made them bring in another doctor to take a second look. The outcome was the same. In an instant I was both numb and experiencing the most intense pain I could imagine. There is no question that it was the worst day of our lives, and it was one drawn out nightmare until I actually miscarried a week later at 10 weeks.</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It's been almost 3 months now since we said goodbye to Beanie. And yet, I know that in many ways I haven't been able to say goodbye. I've learned a lot in these painful weeks. I've learned that I had no idea what it was like when my friends were experiencing their losses. I've learned that I said all the wrong things to them when I was trying to say the right things. I learned that unless you've been through it, you can't understand this pain (and I'm so glad that most people in my life have never had to experience this).</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But I also learned that I have an amazing support system. The few people who knew we were pregnant jumped in and just loved on us. The people that I opened up to and told about the loss jumped in and loved us, too. I learned that I married the absolute perfect man for me. He has been amazing and we are so much closer and stronger as a result. I also found an amazing group of women through an online support group and in our shared experience they have helped buoy me along on some of the darkest days.</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Pregnancy loss is, unfortunately, still a very taboo topic in our society. I think most couples don't share because so many people don't understand, and therefore don't legitimize, an early loss. It is a silent grief that affects 1 out of 4 pregnancies and there are, undoubtedly, men and women all around you going through the motions of work and life and play keeping their pain inside. Maybe we're afraid of what people will say (as I mentioned before, many people with the best of intentions still say things that sting). It's a loss that you don't just "get over."</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So I write this post for them. For me. For the many who will experience loss in the future. And I most of all, I write it for Beanie. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We love you, sweet angel baby and can't wait to meet you in heaven some day. You will always be our first baby, and while we hope we'll have another chance at a successful pregnancy, it will never replace you or mean that we wouldn't give anything to have you back.</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-28958564851491564102011-12-21T15:07:00.000-06:002011-12-21T15:42:38.533-06:00Then Comes Marriage!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">On a gloomy Saturday morning in September, M and went for a hike. There's a great little trail in Sonoma that ends up overlooking the town with views extending out through the valley and, on a clear day, over to San Pablo bay and San Francisco.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">No make-up, hair in a ponytail, sleepy eyes. Not exactly my best look. But, I love that my guy loves me for who I am without all the face paint and such, and so I absolutely adore that he chose that moment when we reached the top to drop down on one knee and ask me to be his wife. Perfection.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We spent the next eight months planning and prepping and pulling together our dream wedding--an intimate and simple ceremony on the lawn of a local winery with a hell of a party in the barrel room to celebrate our new life together. It was an absolutely perfect day and exceeded all of my hopes of what that day could be. I know it sounds generic, but it really was the best day of our lives. Here are a few of my favorite pics. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">(Credits to our AH-mazing photographer, <a href="http://chipgillespie.com/blog/" target="_blank">Chip Gillespie</a>. He's in the Houston area. Book him. NOW.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> [For more amazing pictures take a <a href="http://chipgillespie.com/blog/melissa-and-matt-sonoma-ca-wedding/" target="_blank">look here</a>. For our rockstar pictures from the day after the wedding, <a href="http://chipgillespie.com/blog/melissa-and-matt-bride-plus-groom-session-sonoma-ca/" target="_blank">look here</a>. Now really, book this man for any photographs you need taken!]</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">After looking for my prince for so many years it finally happened and he might as well have placed a glass slipper on my foot. Fairytales really do come true.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">***And don't get excited about these last two titles-- there's no baby news coming in the next one***</span><br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-18934868204253196932011-12-05T22:38:00.001-06:002012-01-08T16:13:37.074-06:00First Comes Love...<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Whew! OK...I realize that it's been beyond ages since I last posted, but here I am with a shiny new look and, really, a whole new life since I left you last.<br /><br />Yep--I'm no longer a swinging' single gal. I think the main reason I stopped posting was because my head was suddenly filled with all these thoughts of a very groovy guy. But dating and blogging don't always go hand and hand. I'm not sure he would have been super excited to read the chronicles of our growing relationship here, and so I just stopped posting. The fact that I was working a gagillion hours a week at the time might also have contributed just a little bit.<br /><br />So what's the back story? Well, I actually met this groovy guy "back in the day." We grew up in the same small-ish town in Texas and had tons of mutual friends. He played football with my brother. Our moms were teachers together. And we even double dated to his senior prom with each other's friends. <br /><br />(REALLY wish I had a picture of that to add here. Then again, you would see me when I was 17. With poofy hair. And a poofier dress. I assure you that nothing was pretty in 1990.)<br /><br />He graduated and neither of us thought twice about the other for nineteen years. I have to spell that out because, hello, 19 years! Enter a Facebook friend request and the sweetest reconnection with emails and getting to know each other all over again and, well, we fell in love in a crazy California adventure full of days spent in vineyards in wine country mixed in with lazy days at the beach. Next month will mark 3 years since we reconnected, but it's only been a couple of years since we were solidly a couple. You know, around the time I stopped posting. (Yes, I was holding out on you there for a while).<br /><br />I'll tell the rest of the story in my next post, but to tide you over I'll drop in a few pictures from the early days. :)<br /></span><br />
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</tbody></table>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-37634299797930776802010-02-23T23:48:00.000-06:002010-02-23T23:48:36.437-06:00The Thing About The OlympicsI'm such a sucker for the Olympics. Seriously--I will schedule my whole life around the games during the two weeks (winter or summer) that they're on. And let's face it. I will CRY LIKE A BABY.<br />
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So what is it that hits such a nerve as to evoke such emotion?<br />
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I think it's simple, really. The fulfillment of a dream. We sit on the couch in the comfort of our homes and watch these kids who have spent countless hours, sacrificing time with their friends, sleep, their parents' money, and a lot of other "kid stuff" for years. All because they had that perfect combination of unique talent and a dream strong enough to drive them to incomparable heights.<br />
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So maybe my dreams haven't involved as much time and sacrifice. And if I'm honest, they haven't involved as much heart. either.<br />
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But that doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day, dreams are dreams. And the thing about dreams is that most of them don't come true. And for most of us, that's a bit uncomfortable.<br />
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But here comes this moment in time, every two years, where we get to watch these kids compete their hearts out. And for the lucky few it all pays off and they get that sweet moment of victory. It's an amazing thing to watch.<br />
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My dreams....well, there are a lot of them that continue to falter. When I watch the Olympics my emotions swell with the satisfaction of seeing a dream realized just as much as they stutter with the reality check for those in that haven't come through.<br />
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Sometimes that hit is pretty deep, tapping into those areas of my life that I've hoped for but not yet realized.<br />
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But for the most part, I think the emotion is pure joy. Joy in knowing that dreams DO come true. That hard work and effort DO pay off. And that so many of us can sit in our living rooms and experience that joy together.<br />
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The thing about the Olympics? They shake us out of being content with anything less than all we have to give. They make us want more--to stretch ourselves and see what we can really do.<br />
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And really, isn't that what it's all about anyway? <br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">[Side note: yes...I know I owe you details on life. When I have more than 2 free minutes at a time I promise I'll catch you up.]</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-24546351294539335982010-01-25T01:07:00.000-06:002010-01-25T01:07:17.572-06:00When It Rains It PoursSo what’s up with our little buddy El Nino?? Last week had the craziest weather that Southern California has seen “ever.” (At least that’s what those who have lived here longer than my tenure of 14 days keep telling me.) I’m crossing my fingers that they’re right. My Texas friends will understand the conditions when I say that it was basically April thunderstorm weather—complete with a couple of tornados. <br />
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[Interestingly, though, the storms came without thunder. I’m going to need to go to the wiki on that one…I don’t get why the thunder didn’t come to the party.]<br />
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Anyway, I got soaked more times in the past seven days than I can even count. I’d like to order up the sunshine now, please.<br />
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One of last week’s agenda items was getting to the DMV and getting my driver’s license and registration taken care of. Apparently the fact that I had this on my list caused some friends to think that I’m overly conscientious about such things. Yeah…not so much. But my registration expired at the end of December and my license expired last Friday. SO…I carved out time from work and headed over to just get it done with. I left the DMV (soaked from waiting in line outside) 2 hours later with neither of these chores accomplished. <br />
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Long story on both, but I did go back the next day and get the properly licensed to drive. The registration…well, when your title is locked up somewhere in storage facility in Fullerton, you have to get the state of Texas involved. I love the Tejas, of course, but I’m not holding my breath on getting this one resolved very quickly.<br />
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Moving cross country: there’s so much more fun than just living out of your (unregistered) car.<br />
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To escape the wet dreary weather in SoCal, I headed to NoCal where I was delighted to be greeted by…more wet, dreary weather. I went for some meetings in San Francisco and then to Napa to celebrate the second anniversary of my 35th birthday. Let’s just be crystal clear—there’s no better way to spend a birthday weekend than sipping delicious wine in spectacular locations with a super groovy guy. <br />
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Especially when you get a good pour.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-34810631332485274082010-01-19T00:19:00.001-06:002010-01-19T00:22:08.192-06:00Not in Kansas Anymore<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Whew. I honestly don’t know where to start. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind like no other. I completely feel like Dorothy…pretty much minding my own business and then…POOF…swept away to a foreign land in the blink of an eye. It’s crazy that it’s only been a few weeks since all this change was set in motion. And here I am tonight sitting in my (second…we’ll get to that in a minute) hotel room in Orange County California.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So let’s see. There was the move itself. I’m so glad that Mother Nature blew through with 20 degree temps the day of the move. That was ever so helpful to the whole process. I won’t soon forget the morning that the movers were loading the truck and my mom and dad and I were upstairs in the warmest room of the house with coats and gloves shivering away. Three hours with the door open with those kind of temps has that effect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Other than being mind numbingly cold (I’m from TEXAS, people…I don’t have the constitution to withstand anything less that 45 degrees), the move went very smoothly. I gave away about half of my stuff and really regret that I didn’t take a picture of my garage before the charity came and took it all away. It was, if I do say so myself, one impressive heap of junk. Absolutely a case of where one man’s trash is another’s treasures. Seriously…I hope that others are enjoying that stuff. I feel so much lighter without it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">There were a few glitches of course (my favorite was about 20 minutes after the truck drove away and my mom happened to open the largest drawer in the kitchen. To find it FULL. Yep. Luckily that was the only thing the packers missed). But my belongings have arrived in California and I’m so happy to be back in possession of my car—not because I care about the car at all, but it was impressively packed with all the stuff that I will have access to in the next couple of months while most of my stuff is in storage. So now I’m not just living out of one suitcase…I’m living out of six of them. Good times.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">When I got here I checked into an extended stay hotel. For some reason I thought it made sense to get a place where I could pick up groceries and feel somewhat settled in for the first week. I clearly didn’t factor in the 80 hours of work that left minimal time to eat…let alone shop. The hotel was absolutely disgusting (and I’m pretty sure the carpet hasn’t been changed since 1984). I can’t believe I stayed there for 5 nights, but I’m happy to report that I vacated the flea bag suites this morning.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I had hoped to move into an apartment today. I did find a place yesterday, but can’t move in until 2/1. I’ll be in a furnished apartment for a couple of months while I get the lay of the land and figure out where I really want to live. I found a super cute place in Laguna Beach about 3 blocks away from the beach and village. I can’t believe that I will live walking distance to the beach. This, my friends, is my dream come true.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So many other things have happened (including my car showing up broken…though apparently not the movers fault), but it’s all just coming together. It’s been quite a ride, but I’m not sure anything has just snapped into place for me before like all of the details around this whirlwind move have. I am so many miles from home and barely know anyone out here, but I’m so happy and at peace that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Even if the gas is $3.19 per gallon.</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-6469978577642788012009-12-22T22:42:00.003-06:002009-12-22T23:03:19.951-06:00Movin' on Along<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Good grief. The moving? It is A LOT of work!! </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Just a quick note tonight to say that:</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">a) Christmas is 50 hours away...and by the skin of my teeth I am READY. Bring it!</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">b) I close on my house a week from today. This is the one detail in the whole shebang that I actually don't have to do anything for but show up. Holla!</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">c) I move in 10 days. That thought? TERRIFIES me! I have so many details to figure out. Like...someone to move me. And, tiny detail...WHERE are they going to move it?! I'm going to take the easiest way out on this one and hire someone to pack, move and store my stuff. Three companies are coming tomorrow and hopefully it will be clear which one is the best choice. Where I'm going to be on the other end, on the other hand...well, we're just considering that an adventure. I'll either ask a friend to go check out some options or I'll sign up for something sight unseen. Or I'll live in a hotel or out of my car for a while. I guess either way I'll figure it out.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I know there will be unexpected complications. I've already had my work email/calendar go completely wonky and they haven't even transferred it for real. The real deal will undoubtedly be a disaster. So I'm just trying to expect it--there will certainly be other details that go awry.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I wish I could say that I'm just rolling with all of this and am as cool as a cucumber. </span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">To say such a thing would be a bald face lie. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The truth is that I'm beyond stressed out. The combination of the job expectations (how can be this far behind in a job I started yesterday??), Christmas, closing and vacation next week, the move the following week, and meetings in San Francisco the week after are, well, overwhelming to me.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So...I'm trying to breathe a lot remind myself that I WANT this to all happen and that it will ultimately be a good thing. The way it's all unfolded makes me think that it's a God thing, and if that's true that the details have already been worked out. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">That's the theory, of course. The practical, well, it's not so rose-colored and sunny. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">For those of you in close proximity who are putting up with me right now, thank you for your patience and your encouragement and your amazing, amazing love and support. I know that I can get pretty tightly wound (yes, I just admitted it), but I hope you know how much I appreciate you!!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">WooHoo! Bring on the packing tape and bubble wrap!!</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-54588702924449104042009-12-13T22:31:00.012-06:002009-12-14T18:17:32.088-06:00Upside Out. Inside Down. And Beach Bound!<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So…WOW. What a difference a week makes! Two pretty major things happened in the past seven days that have effectively turned my life upside down and inside out in the blink of an eye. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br />First—I sold my house! And had it inspected and started down path of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">gagillion</span> little details that go into selling I house. I’m a first time seller and my poor realtor is earning her commission—I’m guessing I could win an award for asking the most questions ever. I just like to know how everything works and why it works that way.<br /><br />Pretty much like a two-year old with an escrow account.<br /><br />My friends like to tease me that I don’t do anything partway. I don’t just get sick…I get H1N1 or obscure medical conditions. I don’t just hurt myself…I do something to require stitches or pins or some other surgical intervention. And apparently I don’t just do a little something to add chaos to my life…I go a few steps further push my sanity completely to the brink.<br /><br />You might remember the job I <a href="http://lifeasamoose.blogspot.com/2009/10/do-they-make-gps-for-that.html">mentioned</a> that fell through at the 11<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span> hour? The whole situation was seriously <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">sucky</span> and I was definitely disappointed about the whole shebang. That’s probably an understatement on both accounts. ANYWAY…in a completely surprising twist of fate, they came back and asked me to reconsider an “enhanced” offer. (Which <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">isn</span>’t as fancy as it sounds, but is what I needed to be able to actually pack up my life and go live in a bankrupt state that was already ridiculously expensive to begin with).<br /><br />And I said YES!<br /><br />So I’m moving to Orange County, CA and am completely thrilled with the whole reversal of fortune thing. And shocked. And reeling. And terrified. And already completely in over my head at a new job that I can’t wait to do. I think I just got a seat at the grown-ups table and, well, it should definitely be an interesting ride!<br /><br />Not sure exactly when I’m headed West, but considering that my house closes in two weeks and I’m moving out 2 weeks after that, my guess is that it’s going to happen pretty fast. There is so much I will miss about Austin (and Texas!), but I'm really excited for this next adventure.<br /><br />And if 'fate' is listening, while I’m delighted about the recent events, perhaps this week could be a little less eventful. And maybe I could get some Christmas shopping done.<br /><br />(P.S.—In case you’re wondering, I knew all of this when I posted <a href="http://lifeasamoose.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-countdown.html">this</a>. But I had to post it anyway…when I wrote it I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">didn</span>’t have a clue what was about to unfold!)<br /><br />(P.P.S--I think that's what 'fate' likes to call IRONY.)</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-59630982965311500272009-12-13T22:06:00.001-06:002009-12-13T22:09:21.811-06:00Christmas Countdown<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Christmastime when I was kid always began on December 7th—my brother’s birthday is the 6th and my mom strongly believed that he should get to have his day in the sun before we jumped into the Christmas chaos. And we couldn’t blame her—my mom’s birthday is Christmas day and she definitely got what it was like to have your birthday get overshadowed by bigger celebrations.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br />One of my favorite things we did to prepare was the countdown calendar. As I recall, there’s was a candy cane everyday when we opened the next little window…and I’ve always been a girl who likes my sweets! I love a good countdown when the anticipation builds and the journey to get there becomes as much fun as the eventual destination (this is my complete MO with vacations, too).<br /><br />The countdown to Christmas is still my favorite part of the holiday—planning gifts, shopping, wrapping. (OK…not wrapping. I actually hate that part.)<br /><br />I also try to prepare my heart for Christmas on a spiritual level. For several years now the main theme for me has been the reminder me that God keeps his promises…even when it seems that he’s gone away. After generations of Old Testament prophets, silence fell on the Earth and God didn’t “speak” for 400 years. It’s not hard to relate to the feeling they must have had that God just disappeared.<br /><br />In my own life, it also seems like I’ve been living in silence. For a while now it’s been very difficult for me to hear God’s voice. I’m guessing that it has more to do with me not listening than him not talking— but either way, all I’m hearing are crickets.<br /><br />And the silence? It’s deafening.<br /><br />And then Christmas comes. And with it a powerful reminder to me that just because I can’t hear him, it doesn’t for the tiniest moment mean that he’s not here or that he doesn’t love me just as much as he did when I had the frequency dialed in.<br /><br />I read something that pointed out that God showing up in a manger is a reminder that he can show up any time; any place. That he would choose to do it the way he did is mind boggling. I fully get why it sounds so foolish to someone who doesn’t know God. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that sometimes I feel a little foolish telling the story because I KNOW how it sounds.<br /><br />And yet…God decided to do something that, honestly, we couldn’t begin to make up. I really love that about him. Hello…a virgin? A manger? But in coming as one of us he rolled up his sleeves and jumped into life with all its messy, painful, JUNK. He became one of us (well…a fully loaded, upgraded version of us).<br /><br />I can’t wrap my brain around God—and I’m so glad for that. I’m completely uninterested in a God that I could understand or who only works in ways that make sense to me. A god small enough to fit in any box I could make would be an awfully wimpy god.<br /><br /> And I don’t do wimpy. Unless you count the way I wrap gifts.</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-61061717567708247722009-11-30T22:03:00.001-06:002009-11-30T22:06:31.740-06:00Life and Jell-O and Time Warps and Such<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Hi y’all! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Well…I’ve been taking a bit of a bloggy break and several of you have been so nice to reach out and, well, suggest that it’s time to jump back in. Not only is that just super nice, it’s also shockingly nice.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Um, wow…you noticed I was gone. That’s, well, NICE!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">As my last post explained this has been the season of the unkown. I wish I could give you an update with all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed, but I guess it just doesn’t work that way. The truth is that nothing is really different. Still waiting for my house to sell, still trying to figure out my job situation, and still exploring what’s next. And yes…I still hope it’s California!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">One of the reasons that I’ve been quiet recently is that I got sick…hello H1N1. Whew! What that little bug lacks in intensity it makes up for in duration. So while it was actually fairly mild, four weeks later I’m still working to get my energy back. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">But truth be told, that’s probably just an excuse.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Lately I’ve been feeling a bit like a piece of pineapple stuck in one of my late grandmother’s Jell-o molds. I can sort of see out, but I just feel stuck. (Hmm…after all that Thanksgiving eating I definitely feel “jiggly” too!!) There’s great stuff in my life right now—but I still just feel stuck waiting to see what’s next. I’m a girl who likes to take the bull by the horns and GO, but I just can’t seem to find them right now or figure out which way I’m supposed to be going. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">How’s that for a bunch of mixed metaphors? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Anyway, I spent the holiday with my family and took a lot of time to reflect on how grateful I am for so much, despite recent disappointments. In fact, I think I’m even thankful for the disappointments because they allow me to remember and appreciate so many things that I take for granted.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">And now (because apparently I’ve been living in a time warp where days fly by at an alarming speed) it’s December and Christmastime. I’d like to be disciplined this month in writing about this season of hope. About what hope means to me. And about faith…something that, honestly, I’ve been struggling with. So we’ll see how I do amongst all the hustle and bustle and merriment of the season, but I’m going to try.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Fa la la la la, la la la la!</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772630050904103002.post-82448873525781861012009-10-05T20:10:00.009-05:002009-10-05T21:23:19.768-05:00Do They Make a GPS for That?<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm the kind of gal that really likes maps. I like knowing the lay of the land--what's North or South and how places are connected together by a spiderweb of roads and highways. I absolutely love to travel but rarely go anywhere without studying a map first to get my bearings and understand the relationship of the location to its surroundings. It helps me to appreciate and more fully experience the destination.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Or maybe I just like control.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The thing about studying a map and "understanding" where I'm at, if I'm really honest, has a lot to do with feeling like I'm in <em>control</em> of where I'm at. That I have knowledge (hello, power!) and that I'm not purely at the mercy of my concierge or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">cabbie</span></span>.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I alluded a few times in previous posts (yes, like a million years ago) that there was big news in the works. The truth is that I thought I was bound for Southern California. I've been working towards a really cool promotion for the past year and it looked like it was all going to come together and I was going to pack it all up and head West. I fully imagined life by the beach--surfing, running along the sand, and lots of time to soak up the sun, sights and sounds of ocean living. Truth be told, my heart was pretty much set on it. Oh...and the job would have been a killer career opportunity.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">At the eleventh hour it all fell apart. I got the offer, but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">yada</span></span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">yada</span></span> ya, we couldn't make the details work out when it all came down to it. I would be lying if I said that I was anything other than incredibly disappointed.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So the past few weeks have been weighty ones. I've had to reconcile that something I really wanted and looked forward to wasn't going to pan out. I was so sure that I had read the map correctly and was navigating to not only where I wanted to go, but also to the place I thought I was <em>supposed</em> to go next. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Yeah. Not so much.</span> <span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Feels a little bit like <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">deja</span></span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">vu</span></span>.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">(And for the record, if you ever have such issues to wade through, I highly recommend retreating to Napa. Definitely worked for me.)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So here I am at the proverbial crossroads. And honestly? I have NO idea what's next. Those of you who know me well can imagine that this is, an, uh, less than comfortable place for me to be. But it's that good kind of uncomfortable. My house is still on the market and I still plan to sell it, but have no idea what I'm going to do if/when it actually sells. I still have a job (for which I am definitely grateful), but I know it's not one that really challenges or excites me. I think it's time for something new, but what that looks like I really don't know.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I think my heart is still in California and there are lots of reasons that I'd like to head West and explore the possibilities. And oh, yeah...we're still in a recession so it's not like there a jobs a plenty just waiting for me to come along. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">There have been moments when all of the above have filled me with pause--not to mention some angst. But there have also been lots of moments that have filled me with pure excitement and anticipation of what the next adventure might be.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So here we go...there's a journey ahead. And there's no map for this one. I suspect that all of my control-loving-sensibilities are going to be challenged along the way. But I'm also pretty sure that it's going to be wild and wonderful ride. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Buckle up!</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734974389599624207noreply@blogger.com1