Magical Chemistry. Or Maybe Not.

Yowser. Was the Internet on FIRE today with some Jason-Bachelor-ABC hating or WHAT?!

I showed tremendous restraint and actually didn't read any of my favorite blogs on the topic until I have a chance to get my own thoughts down (and you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be flying through them as soon as I hit "publish"). The exception was Chris Harrison's "behind the scenes" blog. He gives the full skinny on when it happened (After the Final Rose was filmed 6 weeks ago), what Jason said led up to it, and--as if this wasn't painfully obvious--that it was the most uncomfortable interview he'd ever done. You think??

But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? Because there was so much before we got to that point. This would be a novel if I tried to recap it all, so I'm just going to give you my favorite moments.

• The show starts with Melissa meeting Ty and then the rest of the family, and STARS...if I ever questioned whether or not the show was scripted it was at this point. Specifically...the sheep joke. Really?! Melissa just had a sheep joke up her sleeve for a moment such as this? REALLY? I can ASSURE you, that I have no such repertoire. And I kinda don't think I'm the only one. And, no offense to Melissa here, she just doesn't strike me as the kind of gal that's really that into barnyard humor.
• What was going on during Molly's date while they were at the house? First there was the very weird moment with Jason and the fam sitting around the pool while, I'm pretty sure, Ty was holding on for dear life. That was just weird. And then to take step further into the echelon of awkwardness, Jason and his mom had that "tender" moment out on the lawn under a blanket. Now, don't get me wrong--I am ALL about a boy who loves his mama--but I draw the line at sunset snuggling.
• DeAnna--how LAME was that?! It was so weird and awkward (hmmm...a theme for the night?!). She obviously did a great job of scoring a little vacay down under in exchange for espousing the wisdom to Jason to "don't follow your heart. Lead it." Followed by this little gem, "If I'd followed my head or my heart I would have chosen differently." DeAnna--please--we're dying to know--what DID you follow?! I think that whole scene qualifies as "The MOST overrated Bachelor moment ever."

So then it all came down to the final decision. First we see him say good-bye to Molly, "the tomboy gone pretty", which apparently made him want to throw himself off the balcony in a storm of tears. [Side note--special thanks to Emily for passing on the stat she heard on the radio--Jason cried TWENTY-FOUR times in this episode. Was that ALL?].

He got over it pretty quickly, though, because after his heart BROKE for Molly he promptly turned around and proposed to Melissa, who responded with the weirdest happy dance I've ever seen. [Is it just me, or would you expect a little more rhythm from a DCC? (That Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader for y'all who aren't in the know..and I was one of you until I was schooled in such things by LB. And she knows everything cool and hip and trendy.) And Mel's hair--great in theory, so bad in execution].

But he put the ring on her finger and they took the Nestea Plunge with Ty to cement that it was, in fact, true love. And apparently they were blissfully happy for about 5 whole minutes.

Until Jason broke up with her on national television. Ugh. I still don't know what I want to say about all of this. On the one hand...HELLO, it's a TV show and you knew what you were in for when you took the gig. But I'm a softy (and let's be honest, Jasons breaking up with Melissas hits a little too close to home). It was just so bad to have to watch it happen. I had no delusions of happily ever after for these two, but I also didn't think the poor girl would be humiliated like that and if I had any control at all I might have even stopped watching. But of course that didn't happen. ABC really did hit a new low when they sent her into the limo. Did they really need to add that injury to the insult she'd just endured?!

And then Miss Molly took him back. With lightening speed she went from giving him the icy stare to wrapping her hand around his thigh. A speed rivaled only by how quickly Jason jumped from one relationship to another after admitting that what he did to her was horrible. Yeah...that's what I want someone to say to me 30 seconds after breaking off his engagement. Just sweeps me right off my feet.

So tonight they came on and gushed about how happy they are and how they wouldn't do anything differently. I'm sure Melissa is REAL happy about that. I have to admit that, while I was disgusted by what happened, I wasn't outraged until Jason said--at least four times--that the great thing about Molly was that (wait for it) she is his best friend. OH NO HE DIDN'T!! Seriously?? After freaking out because that's what Jillian was looking for? Sigh. This is clearly a conflicted and messed up guy. Brad Womack must be so pleased.

[OH...I can't let it all go without commenting on Stephanie's outfit in Part 2. Tracy astutely observed that she appears to have MAD BeDazzeling skilz. MAD!]

Oh well. The most entertaining part of the whole experience was watching with my posse. These girls make me laugh so hard and there were a couple of time where I was in tears and stitches at their cutting observations and running commentary. And when Laura started screaming at the tv "I hate you Jason! Enough with the tears!!" I couldn't even see straight.I think there was a moment where Chris Harrison was even dead to her, but I hope we can manage to revive that.

Here are a few pictures of the party and our carefully chosen "Bachelor Inspired" attire...please note the scarves, poufs, Uggs, and obscenely inappropriate amounts of jewelry (you can't tell that I'm wearing 4 bracelets and 6 rings...remind you of anyone?).

Thanks, girls, for SO MUCH FUN over the past few weeks. Can't wait until next season! (Oh, come on, I'm not even going to pretend that I won't watch). Go Jillian!!